Before you tell her she can stay, get answers from the people who know her body and her history. Keeping her in her house is a promise, and a promise made without her doctor's view is a guess.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Bring these three questions to her next visit, write the answers down in plain words, and keep them with her household papers. Ask someone to come along, or ask the doctor to send a note, so the answers are not left to memory at 2am.
Question one: what is likely to change?
Ask what changes the doctor expects in the coming months and what they cannot yet predict. You are not asking for a timeline you can hold them to. You are asking which parts of the day are most likely to get harder, such as getting up, walking to the bathroom, being alone for a few hours, or managing stairs. Write each one down as the doctor names it.
Question two: what would mean the plan needs another look?
Ask which changes should prompt a call and which can wait for the next visit. The goal is a short list you can read aloud to a helper, a sibling, or a neighbor. A useful answer is specific, such as a change in her eating or sleep, a fall, a fever, or new confusion about where she is. Ask whom to call first and which number to use after hours.
Question three: what does the family do between visits?
Ask what the household should watch for and what it should not try to handle alone. Ask who the doctor wants told and how they want to hear it. If the practice has a nurse line or a care coordinator, get that number and put it on the front page of her folder.
What the answers do and do not decide
The doctor's answers give you a frame, not a verdict. They show you which parts of the house need to hold and which parts of the plan need a person. Take them into the rest of the decision: the house walk-through, the helper schedule, and the money. If the answers leave you unsure, say so and ask for a follow-up. A clear question is easier to answer than a vague worry.
If you want help finding local resources while you gather these answers, the local help page lists where to start.