She asked you to keep her in her own bed, in her own chair. That sentence is the real promise, and before you answer it out loud, you need to know which pieces of it you can hold. A promise made in the middle of a hard week tends to cover more than anyone can deliver, and the first place it cracks is at night, when you are the only one awake.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Write her words down exactly
Take a page and copy down what she actually said, in her own phrasing, not your summary. Then ask three follow-up questions and write those answers down too: which room is home to her, what the chair is for (sitting, watching the street, being near the window), and who she wants in the house on an ordinary Tuesday. Those answers tell you what the house must hold. A person who wants to stay in her chair may mean a seat by the window with the phone within reach, not a particular piece of furniture, and that difference changes what you have to arrange.
Name what the promise cannot cover
Be honest on the page about what you cannot guarantee. Her needs may change faster than the house can adjust, a hospital stay may be the right answer for a while, and some nights may need more hands than one household can supply. Write those down as limits you are willing to name, not as failures. The version of the promise you can keep is usually this: home for as long as the house can hold it safely, with a named plan for the point when it cannot.
Write your own limits in hours and days
Feelings do not schedule shifts, so put your limits in numbers. How many nights a week can you be in her house or on call from your own? How far away do you live, and how long does the drive take at the hour you would need it? What does your job allow, and what does your body allow after three weeks of broken sleep? Write down the number you can keep for a month, not the number you hope to manage for one good week. If the total is smaller than what she needs, you have found the first thing to fix before you commit.
Ask the family to say yes to a task
When a sibling says we will help, ask what that means on paper. Who answers the phone when she calls at night? Who covers the Tuesday you cannot? Who does the care team call first? Ask each person to say yes or no to one specific task. A vague yes is not a plan, and a no said early is far more useful than a yes that quietly fades in the second month.
Ask the care team what they will need from you
Before the promise becomes a plan, ask the people who will be involved what they need from the family: who makes decisions when you cannot, who receives updates, and which contacts or papers they will ask for at the first visit. Their answers show you whether the promise has a place to land. If you are not sure where to begin, the order to read lays out the questions in the sequence that tends to work.