She asked you to keep her in her own bed, in her own chair. That means every person who comes through her front door is a guest in her house, and she is the one who lives with how those guests behave. A provider can have a tidy intake form and a warm office manager and still send a different stranger every morning. Before you choose one, count the faces.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Why the same faces matter
When the same two or three helpers arrive on most days, she learns their routines, and they learn hers. She can tell them where the cups are, which chair she wants pulled up, and when she would rather be left alone. When every visit is a new person, she spends the first part of each shift deciding whether to trust them, and the helper spends it asking where things are. Neither of you is doing anything wrong. It is simply harder for her to feel at home.
What to ask each provider
Put these questions to every provider you are comparing, and write the answers down side by side:
How many different helpers worked in a home like hers in the last month, and how many of those came more than a few times? A provider with a small, steady group can usually answer without checking notes. A provider who has to look it up, or who answers in generalities, is telling you something too.
Who would most likely be scheduled for her hours, and will those same people be on the same days each week? Ask for the names of the helpers they expect to use for her regular shifts, not the names of the staff who are good at the job in general.
How is a new helper introduced? Ask whether someone from the office comes on the first visit, and whether a new person works a shadow shift alongside a familiar one before they are alone with her.
What happens when a regular helper is out? Ask who gets called, how much notice you receive, and whether you can see the name of the replacement before the shift begins. A good answer names the steps. A vague answer, such as that they will always find someone, leaves you to find out on the day.
Can she ask that a particular helper not return, and what happens next? Ask what gets changed, who makes the change, and how quickly. You want a specific process with a timeline, because her comfort in her own home depends on being able to act on that feeling.
What happens when a helper leaves the company? Does the provider tell you, pass along the notes about her routines, and reassign the regular schedule, or does the schedule scatter without a word?
What to watch in the first two weeks
Count again after the first two weeks, using a plain notebook kept near her chair. Note which helpers came, whether she greeted each one by name, and whether she seemed settled or tired after the visit. Notice whether the helper knows where her things are without being told twice. If the notebook shows a new face almost every day, the provider's answers to your questions were not what the schedule is delivering, and that is worth raising with them directly.
When the faces become a question for the care team
Sometimes the pattern changes because of her, not the provider. If she begins refusing the door to people she knew, if she seems unsure who a helper is when they arrive, or if the helpers themselves report that she does not recognize them, take that to her doctor or the care team. Changes in how a person recognizes others can have many causes, and only a clinician who knows her can sort them out. Do not try to settle it by changing providers alone.
When you have narrowed the list, compare the providers using the same five questions and the same two-week notebook. A provider that gives you steady faces and a clear plan for the days when someone is out is one that can keep her promise. If you are still building the list of who to call, the local help page is a reasonable place to start.