Many parents who want to stay put are not owners. She may rent a ranch house, a duplex unit, or an apartment where the family lives a few streets away and the lease sets the limits. That changes the first question. Before you ask what the house can hold, ask what you are allowed to change.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Get the lease and the landlord's answers first
Read the lease for the parts that touch her daily life: whether alterations need written permission, whether a grab bar or a ramp can be fixed to the wall, who pays for repairs, and what happens to any change when she moves out. Ask the landlord directly whether a bathroom door can be widened or a threshold can be lowered, and get the answer in writing. A verbal yes from a property manager is not enough to plan around.
Measure the path she actually uses
Walk the route from her bed to the bathroom, to the kitchen table, and to the front door, with a tape measure and a notebook. Record the narrowest doorway, the width of the hallway at its tightest point, the floor space in front of the toilet and sink, and whether the bed can stand with room on both sides. Count the outlets within reach of the bed and her chair. Note where the thermostat sits and whether she can reach it from her chair.
Sort the fixes into three piles
Some changes are portable: a bed that can be moved, a chair with arms, a rolling table, a clip-on light. Some need the landlord's permission but can be undone: a grab bar anchored into studs, a raised seat, a cleared sleeping area. Some the house will not allow at all. Build the plan around the first two piles, and put the third pile in front of the care team early, so the family does not learn in the middle of a crisis that the bathroom cannot change.
Write down what the house will not hold
Be honest about the limits. A narrow bathroom door may mean a bath is not a realistic place for her. A bedroom that sits up a fixed staircase may mean her sleeping space has to move. Write those limits on the same page as the measurements so the trade-off is visible. Ask the care team to look at the layout with you before you commit, and ask them which parts of her care would change if the house cannot be altered.
What to bring back to the family
Bring the lease summary, the landlord's written answers, the measurements, and the three piles. That gives the family one page to compare against her own wishes. If the page shows the house can hold her with small, reversible changes, the promise has a footing. If it shows the house cannot hold her as she is now, that is information for the next decision, not a failure of the family.