Most of the time she will not tell you the house is too cold. She will pull on a cardigan, drag the quilt higher, and say she is fine. In summer she may leave the thermostat alone because the number on the wall looks like it was set by someone else, which it probably was. Temperature trouble in an older home is rarely dramatic. It is a slow drift, and by the time it shows up as a fall, a cough, or a frozen pipe, the drift has usually been going on for weeks.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Why the house can change without her noticing

Her sense of how warm a room feels may not match what it was when she first set up the house. Whether that comes from how her body handles temperature, what she wears indoors, or simply moving around less during the day, it is a question for her doctor, not something you can settle from a guess. What you can do from the outside is watch what the house and her habits show you.

What to check on your next visit

Stand in the room where she spends most of her day. Read the thermostat, then read a plain room thermometer you have placed at chair height, not on the wall beside a vent. Do the two numbers match? Write both down. Then come back at a different time of day, because a house often feels fine at noon and cold by six.

Look at the thermostat itself. Can she reach it without standing on something? Has someone changed the setting? Does it allow the house to swing a long way between day and night? Decide now who is allowed to touch it.

The signs that the house is running ahead of her

In cold months, watch for a blanket on a chair that was not there before, a space heater dragged into a room it was never meant for, a draft that has moved to a new spot, or a cup of water that seems colder than it should. In warm months, watch for a fan aimed at the bed all day, windows left open at night when the air outside is no cooler, curtains that never open, or a bedroom that holds heat like a closed box.

Check the bills too. A sudden jump in heating or cooling cost with no matching change in the weather means the system may be working harder than it should, or a room is being held at a setting that no longer suits anyone.

Who owns the setting

Once you know what the numbers say, name one person who sets the thermostat and one person who checks it. If she still makes her own decisions about warmth, let her keep the control, but agree on a range you both accept and write it on a card near the dial. If her choices have started to leave her too cold or too hot, the family takes the setting and tells her about the change, so she is not surprised by it.

Do not let a service visit be the only check. A heating or cooling technician may come once a season. The person who sees the room every day needs a short routine: read the thermostat, read the room thermometer, and note any new blanket, fan, or open window.

When to take it to the care team

Bring the written record to her doctor if she has been shivering indoors, seems unsure why she feels hot or cold, has been outside in the cold without realizing it, or if you have seen a change in how she feels warmth across several visits. These are questions to ask, not a diagnosis. A hired helper can take the readings, write them down, and pick up supplies such as a thermometer or a filter as an errand. The decision about what to change in her body or her care stays with her doctor and the family.

If you need another set of eyes on the house, the local help page lists who serves this area.