When your mother stays in her own house, the utility bills change in ways that are easy to miss. The house that sat mostly empty while you were at work now has someone in it from morning to night. The lights stay on longer, the television runs, the kitchen gets used, and the rooms she sits in need to stay at a temperature she can live with. None of this is a crisis. It is simply a cost that belongs in the total, and it is easier to plan for now than to be surprised by in the middle of a winter or a hot August.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Start with the bills you already have
Pull the last twelve months of electric, gas, and water statements for the house. Do not rely on memory or on the one bill you happened to see last month. Write down the total for each month and mark the months that were unusually high or low. Heating and cooling will dominate the swings, but you want to see the full pattern before you decide what she will add.
Then ask yourself which of those months reflected a house with someone at home all day and which reflected a house that was mostly empty. If you cannot tell, that is useful too. It means you are guessing, and the guess is the first thing to fix.
Count the hours she will be home
Write down how many hours a day she will spend in the house and which rooms she will use. A bedroom she sleeps in at night is different from a living room she uses from breakfast to supper. Ask whether a helper or family member will also be in the house, and for how many hours, because each person changes the load a little.
Ask whether she needs the house kept at a particular temperature. If the answer involves her health, put that question to her doctor or the care team rather than deciding it yourself. The thermostat setting that keeps her comfortable is not always the one that keeps a bill low, so the number you choose should come from someone who knows her needs.
Check what equipment adds to the load
If any equipment in her room needs electricity to run, ask the company that supplies it what it draws and whether it runs all day, all night, or only some hours. Do not guess from the size of the device. Ask for the answer in writing if the supplier can provide it. Also ask whether the equipment has a backup power option and what happens to it during an outage, since that question belongs with the plan for the house and not just the bill.
Chargers, a space heater, a fan, a bed that adjusts, and a night light each add a little. Together they can add enough that the monthly total surprises you. List every powered item in the rooms she will use, and mark which ones run continuously.
Set the number before she moves back in
Once you have the past bills, the hours, and the equipment list, make a simple table. Put the current monthly average on one line. On the next line, add an estimate for her added hours of lights, heating or cooling, and equipment. Treat the estimate as a range, not a single figure, and leave room for the months when the weather is hardest.
Keep the table with the rest of her household papers. When the bill arrives higher than the estimate, you will have a starting point for asking why, rather than starting from nothing. If the difference is large, check the thermostat schedule, the equipment list, and whether a door or window is letting heat out before you assume the house is the problem.
Know when the question goes beyond the bill
If the utility cost is pushing the household budget past what you can carry, or if she needs a temperature in a room that the house cannot hold without a repair, that moves from a money question to a house question. Bring it to the care team and ask what options exist. Your local help list may also point you to people who can look at the house with you. The goal is a home she can stay in, paid for in a way that does not wear down the rest of your life.