She stopped climbing over the tub wall a while ago. Maybe she sponge-bathes at the sink now, or waits for you to come on Saturday. Someone has said the words walk-in shower, and it sounds like the answer. It might be. But a shower conversion is not a product you bring home. It is a job that runs for days inside the one room she cannot do without, and every step of it either keeps the promise or quietly works against it.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
This guide follows that job from start to finish. It does not tell you which installer to hire or what any of it should cost. It gives you the questions to carry into every visit, so that the shower that gets built is the one she can actually use.
If you are new here, start here for the order we suggest reading things in. The ladder below works the same way as the rest of this site: six things the job has to hold, each split into what makes it hold and when it becomes a question for her care team.
1. The first visit has to measure her, not only the room
What makes it hold. Ask for the estimate visit at a time when she is home and awake. A good installer will look at the tub, the walls and the floor. Ask them to also watch her walk into the bathroom from wherever she usually comes from, usually her bedroom. Note where she reaches for support, which side she prefers to turn, and whether she uses a cane or walker that will need to come into the shower area or stay just outside it.
Before anyone leaves, write down the answers to a few plain questions. How high will the curb or lip be, and can it be lower or removed entirely? How wide will the opening be? Where will the seat go, and is it built in, folding, or a separate bench? Where will the controls sit, and can she reach them while seated, before the water hits her? Where will a handheld shower head hang, and how long is the hose?
Ask them to mark the planned seat height and control height on the wall in tape. Then have her sit on a kitchen chair at that spot and reach. Tape is free, tile is not.
When it becomes a question for the care team. If you are unsure whether she should stand, sit, or be helped to sit, or whether she will need someone else in the shower with her soon, ask the person who has watched her move. That might be her doctor, or a therapist who has seen her at home. Their answer changes the seat, the opening width, and where a helper would stand, so get it before the design is final.
2. The plan has to fit the way help arrives
What makes it hold. Even if she bathes alone today, picture the version where someone helps her. A family member or a hired aide needs a place to stand that stays mostly dry, and a way to reach her back and feet without leaning into the spray. Ask the installer where that person would stand. Ask whether a curtain would serve better than a glass door, since a door can block a helper's arms and a curtain can be pushed aside.
Ask where towels, a robe and clean clothes will sit within reach of the seat. Ask about the floor just outside the shower, because that is where wet feet meet the rest of the house.
When it becomes a question for the care team. If you already expect to bring in bathing help, ask the agency or helper to look at the drawings or the taped layout before work starts. They can tell you whether they could do their job in that space. That is a practical question, not a medical one, and it is far easier to answer now.
3. The work days need their own plan
What makes it hold. This is the step families most often forget. While the old tub comes out and the new shower goes in, that bathroom is usually unusable, and sometimes the water or the toilet is affected too. Ask the installer three things in writing: how many working days the job will take, which of those days the toilet and sink will be unavailable, and what happens if they find rot or a plumbing problem behind the wall.
Then plan around those answers. Where will she wash? Is there a second bathroom she can reach safely, or will she stay with someone for a few nights? Who will be at the house to let the crew in and lock up, and who will check that the path from her chair to wherever she now uses the toilet is clear of tools, dust sheets and boxes? A crew in the house also means noise, open doors and strangers, which can unsettle anyone. Decide who she can call if something feels wrong.
When it becomes a question for the care team. If a few days of change in routine tends to leave her more confused or less steady, tell her doctor before the job starts, and ask what to watch for. If she cannot go even a short time without her usual bathroom, that is worth knowing before you sign, not on the first morning.
4. The water has to be safe before the walls close
What makes it hold. Some of the most important parts of a shower disappear behind tile. Before the walls are closed, ask the installer to show you, or photograph for you, two things. First, solid backing in the wall wherever a grab bar might ever go, not only where one is planned now. Second, the mixing valve, and whether it limits how hot the water can get. Ask them to set that limit before they leave and tell you how to check it.
Ask how the floor slopes to the drain, and whether water could run out of the shower if the opening has no curb. Ask what the floor surface is like when wet, and let her stand on a sample in socks or bare feet if they have one. Ask where the shut-off for the shower is, and write it down.
When it becomes a question for the care team. If she has trouble feeling hot and cold on her skin, or tends to stay in the water a long time, mention that to her doctor and to the installer. The installer can set the valve, but only the people who know her health can tell you why it matters for her.
5. The walkthrough has to happen with her in the room
What makes it hold. When the crew says they are finished, do not sign off from the doorway. Ask for the final walkthrough while she is there, and before the crew packs up. Have her walk in from her bedroom the way she will on an ordinary morning. Have her sit on the seat, reach the controls, lift the handheld head down and put it back, and reach for a towel. Turn the water on and let it run long enough to see where it goes.
Look for small things that become big ones. Is the seat level and firm? Does the curtain or door close without trapping her hand? Can she turn the control with a wet, soapy hand? Is there caulk or grout still curing, and how long before the shower can be used? Write down anything that is not right, and get a written date for when it will be fixed.
Ask for the paperwork in one envelope: what was installed, any warranty for the work and the parts, how to clean the surfaces without damaging them, and the name and number to call if something leaks or loosens. Tape that number inside a cabinet in the bathroom.
When it becomes a question for the care team. If she cannot do the walkthrough without help she did not need a few weeks ago, that is a change worth reporting. Watch, do not diagnose, and tell the people who know her.
6. The first real shower is the real test
What makes it hold. Plan the first shower for a calm time of day, with someone in the house even if she wants privacy. Lay out the towel, the robe and the clean clothes before the water starts. Keep a chair or a dry place to sit just outside the shower. Afterward, ask her plainly what was hard. She will often tell you about a reach, a slippery step, or a cold moment before she will tell you she is tired.
Give it a week of ordinary use. Check the floor outside the shower for standing water, check that the seat and any bars are still tight, and check that the caulk is holding. Small problems found early are usually covered and easy. Small problems found months later often are not.
When it becomes a question for the care team. If, even with a better shower, she cannot bathe without someone with her, or bathing leaves her worn out for the rest of the day, that is not a failure of the shower. It is information about how much help the promise now needs. Bring it to her doctor and to whoever is helping you plan.
What to carry into every conversation
Keep one sheet of paper for this job. On it: her usual route into the bathroom, which side she turns, the seat and control heights you tested, where a helper would stand, the plan for the work days, the shut-off location, and the number to call afterward. Bring it to every estimate. If two installers are working from the same sheet, you can compare them fairly, and neither one gets to decide for you what she needs.
If you want names of people near her who do this kind of work, our local help page is the place to begin. The decision about whether this shower is the right step is still yours, and hers.