When two people in one house both need some help, the house has to hold two sets of needs at the same time, and the room that works for one can quietly fail the other. Sizing the house for the pair means walking the route each of them takes through a normal day, both at once, and writing down where the two routes cross.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Map the night before you map the day
Night is where most sizing plans fail. Where does each person sleep, and can someone reach each bed without stepping over the other's path? Is there a clear route from each bed to a bathroom, measured at the narrowest point rather than the widest? If one of them calls out, can the other hear it, and can a helper sleep close enough to respond without waking the second person? Sketch the bed positions on paper, then walk the route in the dark with a flashlight.
Count the bathroom turns
One bathroom is often the hardest constraint in a shared house. Work out the morning sequence: who needs the bathroom first, how long each routine takes, and whether a helper will be in the room at the same time as either of them. A second toilet, a wider doorway, or a clear space beside the toilet can change the schedule more than any extra hour of help. Measure the doorways and the floor space, and note where a chair or walker would have to stand while someone else is using the room.
Give each chair its own clearance
Both of them will want a seat that is theirs. Measure where each chair sits, how far it is from the television or the window, and whether a wheeled device can turn around beside it without hitting a wall or the other chair. Two people who both spend their days in one room often need two separate zones, not one crowded corner that works only when nobody moves.
Plan the shared spaces around the slowest person
The kitchen, hallway, and front room should be planned for whoever moves most slowly that week. Check that a helper can carry a tray from the kitchen to either chair without crossing the other person's route. Where you can, keep both people's supplies on the same side of the house, so a helper is not walking back and forth across the whole home during a single visit.
Decide where the overnight helper sleeps and sits
If someone will stay overnight, decide where that person sleeps before anything else is bought or moved. A cot or spare chair placed in the wrong room can block a route you cannot afford to block. Measure the space they would need, then check whether it still leaves a clear path to both beds and both bathroom doors.
Ask each care team what the house must hold
Ask each person's care team for a plain list of what the house has to do: how often moves from bed to chair happen, which equipment sits in each room, and which tasks cannot wait. Write that list beside your sketch. If the two lists conflict, the conflict is the thing to solve first. Local help for keeping her home can point you toward people who will walk the house with you and check the sketch against the real rooms.